a letter to you.

I've been a little mia the past month or so, because really this thing is consuming me. Literally making my stomach sink when i think about it. so I'm writing this letter to someone here to just get some things off my mind.

To you,

Do you remember how great things used to be? What happened? No body really understands. You were the one who told me, "nothing is better than this, don't let anyone fool you." And every day I live like this, why don't you anymore? Do you notice it isn't there, you can't spin it anymore.  What's it like over there, up there, in there? You've compartmentalized us out, and refuse to let us in. We are so close yet I feel we are on different sides of the planet.  Why did I have to find out like that, couldn't you just tell me? I just want to  understand. Not that anyone really can because we aren't you, but you have a way with words anyways, can't you pick up the phone, meet me and try to explain?  A letter would do, too-the old fashion kind. Do you remember how happy you were? Is that ball of curls a reminder of it? What's your take on it?

Love,

me

enjoy it!

it's hard to say sorry for being away so long

when i'm in florida for the week!

But this i am,

and i am so sorry for no forwarning or anything!

right now i am sitting by the pool in Sanibel, Florida again!

my friend s and i have been enjoying the beautiful weather

(minus this crazy wind they have been having here). 

 i will say that the sun is shining, i'm tanning, and enjoying the company...

so really i can't complain. 

 i hope you are having a fantastic week and the weather allows you to get out and do something!

p.s. i'll be back for real on friday!

so first of all, what a crazy week it has been! everyone i have talked to has been so busy! So sorry for being such an awful blog-friend! I did however go to the gym thursday morning where i for real saw a guy with a mustache. like that.

via 

okay maybe not that huge, but it was that exact style on a smaller scale. 

on a more important note, a few weeks ago i signed up for nicole's pen pal project! i am so excited! my pen pal's name is Catherine and she lives in Australia!!  the summer after my freshman year of college i went to sydney, australia for a week and had a blast!  needless to say, i cannot wait to start putting pen to paper and getting to know Catherine!! 

i hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!

oh and p.s. raleigh is shutting down again, because they are calling for 2 inches of snow...pathetic!

oh me oh my!

a special thanks to Laura Loo, Jennifer and Katy Mary for the advice on the friendship ordeal. just an update... she invited me to go rock climbing (something i absolutely love, even though i am super scared of heights) on friday but i can't make it.  so hopefully we will be able to get coffee soon and catch up... i'll let you know if anything changes.

as for now, it is only tuesday but it is the stress of a thursday. 

Dear College professors,

why do you find joy in making impossible syllabuses, when you know how much time goes into a full course load of classes. and then continue to add assignments that aren't on the syllabus just for fun.  it isn't cool.  it makes my body stress out, and i get overwhelmed. college professors, you frustrate me sometimes. today is one of those days.

love,

alexandria

*lets go wolfpack!*

friendship

 

so here is something i have been pondering...

college and friendships.

i have been realizing how i really don't talk to a lot of my friends from high school anymore.

see,

there was this group of us.

we didn't have a special name or anything

but we were together all the time

like a stitched seam

but since college that seam has been pulled and we have gradually fallen away from each other

the worst part is, is that we are on the same college campus!

but it seems like recently it has been a one way show

me calling them to see if they want to hang out

but they are both in sororities and are too busy with that and partying

and on top of that i am busy too with younglife

so i don't blame it all on them.

our schedules just seem to clash. all the time.

so finally after some unreturned phone calls i called it quits

i stopped calling, text, writing on their fb walls

and decided that college changes people.

we aren't the same girls we used to be

we have different goals

different beliefs

different loves

and i was ok with that

then randomly last night one of them texted me

not a "hey, how's it going lets hang out"

but something that normal people who talk all the time would say

but i followed it up with a "p.s. how are you?"

returned with "good, i'm at work right now but we need to get coffee sometime"

and i agree.

just because she let me go i shouldn't just give up on our friendship right?

i just get confused.

i love her

but i don't love the way she has treated me in the past few years

i know forgiveness is in order

and i will forgive her.

but in all honesty

would you want to be friends with someone who doesn't share the same

beliefs

morals

&

loves

as you?

someone who cut you out of their life just because?

someone with whom there isn't much in common with anymore?

is it OK to not be friends with them?

you were best friends for years, swept away by the busy life of college....

a friendship ripped at the seam

mend it or not?

btw

(this post may be long, it will be like three days packed into one!)

over the past few months of doing this, i have grown to love it! blogging that is. you ladies mean so much to me, and i love checking up on what you all are doing! it may be silly, but i feel like i have accomplished something with my 28 followers who are so sweet and genuine! it is like a little family for my little growing blog...and i love it, every second of it.  although i do get a little overwhelmed when my reader shows i have 50 unread posts from all the your fabulous blogs i read! but i just wanted to make sure all you ladies realized how much i truly care about you and how much you all mean to me!

{via}

now back to the obsession general liking of other blogs. i have a problem. especially this semester.

i only have one class out of all five of them where i don't have my computer open...so that means that in all four of the others, i have blogs open constantly. my friends think that all i do is blog/read blogs but i promise i pay attention sometimes! like this instance today in our shakespeare class...(still not sure why i am still enrolled in this little gem)

professor: rambling about how the word "expense" in sonnet 129 is equal to orgasm and how shakespeare was probably gay, had an affair with not only some high status young male, but a black lady as well.  oh and he didn't live with his wife... we learned all of this about him by reading the sonnets.
me: This may be a stupid question, but how long did it take him to write these sonnets? They seem pretty complicated.
professor: basically speaking french with the occasional condescending: "a 7th grader with a decent vocabulary can figure these out, they are so simple and straight forward" blah blah blah (not answering my question) continues to blab.
c: (speaking to my friend j) i have no clue what's going on, how did alex know what was going on, i thought all she was planning on doing in here was blog?
j: (speaking to c) me too, since when does she pay attention in class?
me: (in my mind) why are you still talking about how anyone can understand what shakespeare is writing when i asked how long it took him to write them?
professor: did i answer your question? good.
me: .... (maybe blogging is the better alternative to attempting to learn shakespeare)

so essentially what i learned today in class is that shakespeare is really hard to understand unless you break it down bit by bit with a college professor who is obsessed with it. but really, who has hours upon hours to do this? we only got through 10 of the 154 sonnets in two class periods which = 3 hours total... really shakespeare? fact: obviously you didn't write that to the point if it takes that long to break them down and get the meaning down....

back to reality. i have had a really hard time keeping up with everyone's blogs recently because i have been trying to learn shakespeare, pr, more pr, writing and food science...but i pinky promise i will finish reading them all by the end of next week! 

tomorrow (or i guess, technically, today) i am leaving to go skiing with younglife.  we will be back late saturday night which will be followed by a short and sweet hang out with preston and an overnight babysitting job from sunday to monday. so i will be back probably monday.

 {via}

but i thought this would be fun-

how about leaving some questions for me to answer? 

anything is game, i'll answer it. pinky promise. ask one or as many as you'd like!

2nd award

so lots going on! today has truly been a busy day!

so anyways an update on the outfit... i did steal my friends camera today and took a pic of my feet

then tonight since i am just totally self absorbed, i made my dad take a picture of me while i stopped by for a hot second

So back to reality. i ate dinner/am eating dinner right now 9:41 p.m. wow, so much for the no eating after 9:00 p.m. rule... i am also eating typical college kid food... ramen... and i love it!

my favorite kind of ramen is the creamy chicken kind. i don't like it just any way though.  i like it when there is hardly any water in it so the noodles are less soupy...

what about y'all? favorite kind of ramen noodles?

 Jennifer gave me my second award!

The rules of this award are as follows:

1. To accept the award, you must post it on your blog with the name of the person who has granted you the award, and a link to their blog.

2. Pass the award on to approximately 15 other blogs that you recently discovered, and think are great!

3. Contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

so this is a perfect time for me to pass along this award because over the weekend i spent hours looking up new blogs and i found quite a few i have fallen for and feel they definitely deserve this!

Juliana from A Blonde Walks into a Blog

Marcela from The Joy of Enjoying  

Mrs. Preppy from Mrs. Preppy 

Chloe from My Favourite Things 

Lauren of The Little Things We Do 

Katie from Color me Katie 

Legally Fabulous from Legally Faboulous 

Kristyn from The Rise of a Novelist 

Lindsay from La Belle Vie  

Kitchen Bellicious  

Holler from Puccini & Pearls 

Sweet Everythings a collection of love

i'm aware that this isn't even close to 15 ladies, but i thought these ladies deserved this award! 

agape

last night i made some of my guy friends dinner... we had mac-n-cheese with hot dogs cut up in it and green beans--a childhood favorite.  it was really nice to get out of my mini apartment and hang out with them... while i was there i told them about my absolutely not stressful day and how great it was.  they ended up being great guys to vent to.  they helped me realize that it wasn't that much work, i just needed to focus on God and He alone would help me get through each day! one of my friends j even had my shakespeare professor last semester and said he was hard but a great teacher and that he learned a lot.  so i slept well last night with no nightmares about school!

today was busy so i didn't exactly have the time to even think of stressing about class.  i did finally purchase my books which i will pick up tomorrow.  once i get cracking on my reading this weekend, i will feel better to have some things crossed off my homework list.

other than that i have realized that there really is no reason to stress over things you can't control.

i am also working on setting boundaries.  my pastor spoke about it the other weekend during the first section of a series he is calling "Resolutions" in spirits of the double digit year. i am working on learning how to say "no" more often to ensure that my days are meaningful and led by Christ.

 

i know that sounds hypocritical because i was talking about how i need to get cracking on my school work...but last semester i really learned the value of time with Christ.

I am doing this group through young life called BRU Crew (Bible Readers United...we felt cool when we made up the name hah!) we spend an hour a week together reading the Bible.  We started at Genesis 1 and are reading all the way through it in 9 months.  Hard, but honestly it has been well worth it. this group forces me to spend time alone with God on a regular basis on a personal level.

i'm not going to lie, i am a little behind because i wasn't a very responsible reader over break. but i am sure that i am more stressed about the reading than Jesus is.... last semester the time i spent with God really made me reevaluate my priorities.  for some reason it all clicked.  i was able to balance all my school work and everything else and it paid off.  so even though i was super stressed the other day and called it my "challenge" and thought it would be impossible to do great,  forget what i said.

i know i will be able to because i am focusing on Him and He alone gives me the strength to get through my days.  So by focusing on Him daily, all the craziness of class and school work fall right into place.

"...do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

{http://iamnothingami.tumblr.com/post/247174443/via-sassaroon}

id be lost without you.

friends.

i love them.

there is something about seeing one on campus,

or randomly during the day that brings me complete comfort.

 i love seeing and hear from friends that you haven't seen in a while

and it clicks again like you haven't missed a beat.

those are some of my favorite friendships.

i love getting coffee with friends.

when you sit together and talk about the past months of your life that have flown by

or how this person did that, and that guy caught your eye

but no matter what is going on around, you have each other

each other's attention.

ears.

and most of all,

hearts.

on top of it all--

i love how my boyfriend is my bestfriend and that he is the best listener i know

when i may be the worst.

i love how we curl up together and we fit like puzzle pieces and just talk.

it is days like today,

friendships like these 

and a love like his

that make my life like a comfy pair of jeans.

complete comfort and secure.

deep meaningful friendships full of abundant love*