January 25, 2010



so here is something i have been pondering...
college and friendships.
i have been realizing how i really don't talk to a lot of my friends from high school anymore.

there was this group of us.
we didn't have a special name or anything
but we were together all the time
like a stitched seam
but since college that seam has been pulled and we have gradually fallen away from each other
the worst part is, is that we are on the same college campus!
but it seems like recently it has been a one way show
me calling them to see if they want to hang out
but they are both in sororities and are too busy with that and partying
and on top of that i am busy too with younglife
so i don't blame it all on them.
our schedules just seem to clash. all the time.

so finally after some unreturned phone calls i called it quits
i stopped calling, text, writing on their fb walls
and decided that college changes people.
we aren't the same girls we used to be
we have different goals
different beliefs
different loves
and i was ok with that
then randomly last night one of them texted me
not a "hey, how's it going lets hang out"
but something that normal people who talk all the time would say
but i followed it up with a "p.s. how are you?"
returned with "good, i'm at work right now but we need to get coffee sometime"
and i agree.
just because she let me go i shouldn't just give up on our friendship right?
i just get confused.
i love her
but i don't love the way she has treated me in the past few years
i know forgiveness is in order
and i will forgive her.

but in all honesty
would you want to be friends with someone who doesn't share the same

as you?
someone who cut you out of their life just because?
someone with whom there isn't much in common with anymore?
is it OK to not be friends with them?
you were best friends for years, swept away by the busy life of college....
a friendship ripped at the seam

mend it or not?


  1. I had a great comment and forgot to do the word thingy...Anyway!

    When my mom got sick (and subsequently died) in my last year of college, I noticed that my "best" friend from kindergarten on didn't even call or come to the service. We had been drifting apart, but I thought that was pretty definitive.
    It is hard to let things go, but if you have to "work" at it...Maybe it isn't meant to be? I don't know. Very thought provoking post!

  2. I know how it feels to be the only one trying to keep a friendship going... I have this one particular friend who lives in another state and NEVER answers texts, ignores calls, the only time I talk to her is when she is in town visiting her sister. This used to bother me A LOT. Finally when we talked about it I found out that's just the way that she is, she is fine with only talking the once a year we see each other, it doesn't mean she doesn't care, it's simply the way she is and I had to choose to accept that. I just think that in the end you have to choose if you want her in your life a little or not at all and be OK with it.

  3. I've been in the same position as you before and I made the same choice. I have always just cut out people who didn't seem to put in any effort. I call them one way friendships and I don't like them. They are unfair. Good for you if you can forgive your friend. My advice would be to have coffee with her but don't get fully invested into the friendship without making sure she is putting in an effort too. Sometimes people really do just grow apart ya know? I also agree with Jennifer up there, some people are just "like that" they are ok to just check in every now and then without being fully involved. Let her in a little if you feel you can but don't get too invested.